Being a leader is about living your life in a way that inspires or encourages others. Here is the 7th in my series of monthly newsletters, each with a section on the skills you need so you can be a leader of your life. To lead is to serve. If you make it your goal to do the best that you can and to help people, then you can't fail. I encourage you to commit to keep learning.

The content below is extracted from Mike Holt's Leadership Skills - Taking Your Career to the Next Level.

Proper communication skills are important for everyone, but even more so for anyone that's a leader, or aspiring to become one. As a leader, you must be able to congratulate, console, confront, motivate, and teach your team in a variety of ways that will increase their learning and solidify your relationship with the entire group. It’s essential to develop good communication skills for that to happen.

Think about how often you talk to someone and think they don’t understand you; or vice versa. When you’re communicating with someone, you need to know what that person means, not just what they say. Think about it. The meaning behind the words is just as important as what’s being said. It’s important in reverse too. You need to make sure when you’re speaking to a person that they understand what you really mean.

Communication is a two-way street. When you’re having a conversation with another person, listen carefully to what they’re saying. Too many times people are thinking about their own response while the other person is still talking and they don’t listen carefully enough. When you’re listening, focus on what the other person is saying, repeat some of what they say to show that you’re really paying attention, or ask questions to clarify something if you don’t understand what they mean. If they’re asking you a question, concentrate, and ask yourself what it is they’re really asking for. Listen closely when they’re speaking. Don’t try to formulate your answer while the question is still being asked. Wait and pay attention. This will not only improve your understanding but will also make you a superior listener and earn people’s respect. The value of listening can’t be underestimated. Good listening is a skill that requires practice and it often doesn’t come naturally. Leaders who listen well set a positive example for their followers and provide a foundation for a strong relationship. “A mind is like a parachute—it works best when it’s open!”

Face-to-Face Communication. Many conversations are important to be had in person. This allows you to see each other's reactions, facial expressions, body language and gestures. It gives you immediate feedback so you know how to proceed with your conversation. It builds a connection that wouldn't necessarily happen over text or the written word. When you’re the one doing the talking, watch the other person’s expression and body posture. Doing so will give you a sense of what they’re feeling, and you’ll know if they understand what you’re saying. If you see that they’re not following you, don’t get frustrated. Find another way to say what you mean. Maybe you’re talking too fast, so pause occasionally when sharing your ideas to make sure you’re communicating at a pace that’s comfortable for your listener. This is especially important when sharing new ideas. Notice individual differences. Observing people with whom you associate regularly will help you become familiar with their communication style, individual mannerisms, and their body language. Being alert to, and respectful of, cultural differences is especially important here.

Telephone Communication. When talking on the telephone (especially a cell phone), be sure to speak clearly. Use the speaker only when absolutely necessary. Since you can’t see each other, true communication might be a little more difficult because neither of you can “read” the other’s expression or body language. Be careful about making a negative assumption about the other’s tone of voice—it can be easy to misunderstand what the “tone” you hear means. If you think they might not have understood what you said, ask them. If you aren’t sure of what they’re saying, let them know. You can also say something like, “I think you’re telling me. . .” and then repeat back what you believe you’re being told.

Written Communication. Writing includes letters, notes, emails, and text messages. Before sending something off in writing, take the time to read it over. Be sure the message is clear—once sent it’s hard to retract what was said. Remember that you know what your intention is when you are writing, but unless you express that clearly, the reader will have no idea! Be sure your spelling and grammar are as correct as possible. Check to make sure no important words are missing. Remember that you’re projecting an image through this type of communication.

• Use the correct combination of upper- and lower-case letters in anything you write, even if it’s an email or text message. Avoid abbreviations and slang as the recipient might not know what they mean. Knowing how to type is a big plus because it allows you to produce written communications more quickly, but if you're using a mobile device, read it before you send it because the auto-correct feature might have changed words you were not trying to write.
• How’s your handwriting? Can people read it? Are others coming to you to find out what you wrote? Are they spending time trying to decipher what you’ve written, or taking a wild guess about it? If others can’t read what you’ve written, you aren’t communicating effectively. Valuable time will be wasted, and mistakes will occur. If legible handwriting isn’t one of your current skills, begin practicing your penmanship to improve it.

If you’re sharing bad or unpleasant news, think very carefully about which form of communication you choose—you might not want to send negative written communication. You want to be sure people understand the true meaning of the information you’re relaying. Talking to them in person might be the most appropriate way because you can control your attitude, expression, and tone of voice. On the other hand, it’s important to have a written record, no matter what the topic, so be very cautious with your choice of words and style of writing.

Thinking Out Loud. If you're in the habit of thinking out loud, people around you might be confused—they won’t know whether you’re suggesting something, expressing a random thought, or making a decision. As a result, they may take action on something you said without realizing that wasn’t your intention, and you were only mulling over ideas out loud. If you find that you do think out loud, be careful to let people around you know what you are doing so that they know whether or not they should disregard the statements you make. Remember—he who’s in control of his tongue possesses great wisdom!

Never use profanity—there’s absolutely no place for it. It’s very offensive to many people, and its regular use can be perceived as a lack of education or a lack of self-control. If you routinely use profanity in your conversations with friends or family, make it a point to change that habit! Record conversations and then play them back to hear how often you use curse words. You can also ask someone to say something whenever you use them—doing so will help you become more aware and allow you to develop the habit of using different words.

Reading skills are a basic part of the communication process and are very important. How well can you read? Is it easy for you to understand what you’ve read? If your reading skills are weak, you might be making mistakes because of your lack of understanding written information. Make the commitment to improve and get help if necessary.

There’s a basic truth to achieving success as a leader. You must know how to handle people, how to handle problems, and you must know how to handle yourself. Don’t underestimate the importance of communication.

We'd love to hear from you about this series, and the ways you're using it. Send us your comments and feedback by clicking on Post a Comment below. Look out for the next part in this series a month from now, and please share with your colleagues.

To review or catch up on previous newsletters on business and personal development click here.
The above content is extracted from Mike Holt's Leadership Skills textbook.

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