Mike Holt Enterprises Understanding the NEC
Mike Holt

Being a leader is about living your life in a way that inspires or encourages others. To lead is to serve. If you make it your goal to do the best that you can and to help people, then you can't fail. I encourage you to commit to keep learning.

This is newsletter #22 in the series. If you have missed prior newsletters, and are enjoying the series, we encourage you to take advantage of the discount offer for Mike's Leadership and Life Skills Program. Click on the coupon at the bottom of this page.

Peer Pressure
If it doesn't feel right - it's wrong.

When we think of “peer pressure” we think about parents being concerned about their children following the example of the “wrong” type of crowd, the use of drugs, underage drinking, and so on. Giving in to peer pressure is very easy to do. It's usually more comfortable than trying to avoid it, because we're afraid of being "different". However, it isn’t just children and teens who succumb to peer pressure. It can affect anyone of any age because we are inherently social in nature and we all want to to be part of a group we admire. And let's face it, no-one likes rejection.

People have a natural tendency to conform; they don’t want to stand out, or they want to be accepted, so they listen to their friends, co-workers, and associates. Unfortunately, people around you don’t always support your goals or don’t have goals of their own. They may put down your aspirations for a variety of reasons. If you’re trying to better yourself, perhaps by going back to college, chances are good that someone is going to make fun of you because they feel threatened by your goals.

It’s unfortunate but true — many people like to make others feel stupid. Putting someone down is somehow easier than building them up. Opinions and recommendations are often given without knowing the facts. Sadly, there are far too many people who don’t like to see others become successful. Everyone wants to feel accepted and, unfortunately, many times we adjust our behavior and attitudes to match those of the majority, giving little consideration to our own feelings. If it doesn’t feel right, then it’s wrong.

Resist making decisions based on what other people do or feel unless it’s something with which you agree. For instance, if you’d rather work in a rural area where most of the jobs are residential, don’t go to work for an electrical contractor who only does commercial work in large cities, merely because “everyone” says you can make more money doing so. You’ll find yourself becoming unhappy and less productive which can have a negative impact on your image and self-esteem.

If you're surrounded by people who influence you negatively, don't look for reasons to justify why you still hang with them. Get in with different groups, associations or clubs. Start keeping company with people who are trying to do and achieve the same things you are. Being with your "tribe" allows you to be authentic, to feel confident, and to have the support of like-minded people.

Assess your own strengths and limitations objectively. Make your decisions and perform your activities based on your own knowledge and ability. If you choose to take someone’s advice and accept their opinions, do so with an open mind. This is what separates the leaders from the followers. A bit of old-time wisdom fits in here very appropriately—“To thine own self be true.” If you do so you usually can’t go wrong!

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We'd love to hear from you about this series, and the ways you're using it. Send us your comments and feedback by clicking on Post a Comment below. Look out for the next part in this series a month from now, and please share with your colleagues.

The above content is extracted from Mike Holt's Leadership Skills textbook.


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