When we think of “peer pressure,” we think about parents being concerned about their children following the example of the wrong type of crowd, the use of drugs, underage drinking, and so on. However, it isn’t just children and teens who succumb to peer pressure. It can affect anyone of any age because we all want to be accepted, or to be part of a group we admire.

Giving in to peer pressure is very common and easy to do. It’s usually more comfortable than avoiding it because we’re afraid of being different.

• Group acceptance. People have a natural tendency to conform. They don’t want to stand out, or they want to be accepted, so they listen to their friends, co-workers, and associates. Unfortunately, people around you don’t always support your goals or don’t have goals of their own. They may put you down for different reasons altogether. Acceptance is important, so belong to the right group that will influence your decisions in a positive way. I never felt part of a group until I was 55, and I got into the World Barefoot Waterski Championships. I remember my daughter telling me, “Dad, you have found your tribe.”
• Negative people. Unfortunately, many times we adjust our behavior and attitudes to match those of the majority, and we don’t pay attention to our own feelings. If being around negative people gives you a pang, it’s the subconscious telling you it’s not right for you to be around them. You try to justify it to yourself: you were in junior high school together, they were at your wedding, whatever the story or connection. But you have to realize what’s going on. You can’t change negative people, but you can try to distance them from your life.
  
• Network to your advantage. Get in with a different group of people. Start joining associations, or get involved with people who are trying to do and achieve the same things you are.
  
• Who is your “tribe”? Your tribe is a group of people who have interests and goals similar to yours. Being with your tribe allows you to be authentic, feel confident, and have the support of like-minded people. Who do you want to be your tribe? Find them, join them.
  

Stay strong and true to yourself. Don’t allow the wrong tribe to influence you. If something doesn’t feel right for you, or you’re surrounded by negative people, take them out of your life. And if you can’t do that (it’s family, or business, or for other reasons), then limit your exposure to them. Don’t let what they say cause you stray from your goals.

If you’re with your tribe, peer pressure will work to your advantage. I’ve always felt alone, felt like I never belonged because I was different from the people around me. I was 55 years old the first time I qualified to ski in a world championship. For the first time in my life, I felt normal. Everybody there was eating better than I was, training harder than me, more motivated than me, and were pushing each other. For a fact, I had to step up my game. Because of hanging out with those types of people, champion skiers (my tribe), I was able to go pro class at the Worlds.
—Mike Holt