Why does it so often feel like an impossible task to come to a place of agreement, or simply to agree to not agree? If you think about it, a lot of times you’re trying to resolve a situation, or you’re arguing with someone about something, and you’re actually talking about two different things! You’re not even on the same page. The value of listening cannot be underestimated. If everybody just listened to what the other person was saying, most differences could be avoided. Don’t think about what you’re going to say while the other person is still talking. Wait and pay attention before you formulate your response. This is a skill that you might need to develop and practice!

Whether your issues are in your personal or business life, the way you handle them should be consistent:
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• Correct customer errors immediately, no charge! There’s no value in trying to make a point and make yourself right—at the customer’s expense. Take time to listen so you’re actually hearing the other person. Apologize and be ready to make it right, whatever it takes. Remove your pride from the situation. Be accountable for your actions, take responsibility for any misunderstandings, and work to resolve them immediately. People are more likely to remember how you dealt with a problem than they are to remember how you created it in the first place.
• Get feedback for improvement. Create surveys and use them to help you. A survey shows your customers and employees that you care about what they think. Surveys can help you build loyalty, improve your relationships and your business, but only if you’re serious about using the feedback to improve. If you continuously ignore what people say, they will stop giving feedback—or what they do give you will not be of any value.
• Misunderstandings are your fault. Assume that it’s your fault and make it better. That doesn’t mean you have to continue a relationship or do any more work for them, but you have to make it right and move on.
• Treat others with total respect. A lot of that respect will come from how you treat yourself. I think if somebody doesn’t respect themselves, they probably don’t respect others. You’ve got to accept yourself, you’re not perfect! If you’re doing the work, you deserve respect, and you need to respect others.

I want people to feel safe, valued, respected, and important. When they’re angry about something, and go crazy, just say, “Listen, you’re going to be happy. I don’t want you to be stressed out, even if I don’t charge you for the job. You don’t have to fight me to get there, you’re going to be 100 percent happy.” What do you think happens to the person who’s yelling and screaming? It calms them down and diffuses the anger. Treating people with respect when resolving differences goes a long way. In the long run, you’ll find this approach works for everyone, because everyone benefits. Going head-to-head with someone, yelling, and threatening lawsuits or court, only creates more stress and everyone loses.
—Mike Holt