• Email problems. If you have an email from somebody with a conflict, don’t reply to it with an email, unless your response is, “I’m sorry, I’m going to fix it.” And then you’d call anyway. Most times an email doesn’t reflect what you’re trying to say. Maybe you responded too quickly? Reacted too fast? Maybe if you had a chance to calm down, you would have thought about it, and you wouldn’t have responded the same way. If you are responding to emails on a smartphone, and your reply is short or quick, it could be open to misinterpretation. If you don’t type properly or you use abbreviations or slang, the reader may have no idea what you’re really trying to say. You might even respond in ALL CAPS, which is considered “yelling” in an email! If your issues are legal or contractual, a written paper trail, such as an email, would be necessary. In that case, it’s even more important that your grammar, spelling, capitalization, and intention be correct. If your email is a response to a conflict, you might want to consider writing it, leave off the addressee, come back later, and read it again. You might decide to make edits, or you might even delete the email and just call the person.
• Face-to-face resolution. For many conflict issues, resolution requires give and take, discussions, and detailed explanations that aren’t possible in back-and-forth emails. Face-to-face might be the only way to do this. In person, you can adjust your attitude, expression, and tone of voice. There will be times if you’re angry or you can’t manage your emotions, that you need to wait a little while before meeting with somebody. You may need an advocate in the middle to intervene.
• Have a plan to make them happy (customers). I don’t care what it costs me, I don’t have any pride, it’s not worth it, so let’s just fix it. Some people get really angry because they feel as though they’re being dismissed or ignored. They think getting angry is what it’s going to take to get somebody to respond. Acknowledge their feelings, and assure them you’re going to resolve the problem.
• Text problems. Be really careful with text messaging if there’s conflict involved. Texting is even less personal than emails, and if you use abbreviations and slang, they can get in the way of conveying your intention.
• Vent privately before taking action. Other things going on in your life might affect the way you react to a situation that involves conflict. A lot of things might be going on in your world, things just happen to hit you at that moment, and you overreact. If that happens, you need to apologize. Give yourself time to assess the situation and respond appropriately. If you don’t know how to respond, call someone else such as a mentor, someone who can look at it from a different perspective and give you advice.

Your goal should be to put people in a place where they feel safe, valued, respected, and important. Then if there’s a conflict, that’s your solution right there. That’s what my law is, and that’s how I’m going to solve any conflict—make them feel safe, valued, respected, and important.